Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Gimme Shelter...

You know, I have often been told by 'friends' that I'd be the one person they know who would turn out to be a serial killer.

Oddly, I like that.
Truth is that, if my girlfriend and son were killed I would probably give it all up and become a killer.
It's... an ambition.

Is that weird?
It probably is.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

My Lips Are Sore (said the actress to the priest).

I have sore lips.
I've had a cold/manflu/death for a little while, and that has mainly gone but now I have got cracked lips and a blister on my bottom lip.
I had nice lips, with a thin-ish top lip and a full bottom lip, and now it's all blister-fied and manky and I want to complain.
So I am doing it here. Moan moan moan.

You know, I think I masturbate too much.
When it gets to the stage of masturbating at work (in the toilets, not actually whilst working) you know you're in trouble.
I don't even enjoy it 80% of the time. It's an addiction.
Poor me.
I'm surprised I have any spunk left at this rate.

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Death, I hear thy rattle

I'm dying.

Well... I have a cold and, as someone at work recently said to me, men are shit at being ill.
Actually, I'm usually quite good but I'm just using my cold as a reason to blog, so shut up.

I have a blocked nose and it's pissing me off.
When I inhale, I sound far too much like a pervert sniffing stolen panties... or so I imagine.

I have never, and will never, enjoyed 'blowing my nose' and actually haven't done this terrible deed since I was about seven.
That was the age when my grandad would spit into a hanky and wipe my face, or hold a tissue to my nose and insist that I blow.
I don't think he was grooming me...

I remember having a bath at that age and then having my head so vigourously rubbed dry I would be dizzy for a minute or two after.
Why do grandparents/parents DO that?!
Answer me, parents!

(More on my parents later... probably).

Anyway, this is a rambling post so I'll stop now.
It's Wednesday, it's sunny, and I might go for a walk.

PS. Pity welcome. I'm ill, damn it!

Welcome to my brain puke!


This is yet another blog by me which will no doubt be gnored and will infact lose appeal to even me after about four posts.

Still, it gives me something to do so... onwards!!